In business (and life), mistakes are not an optional, they are inevitable. Don’t beat your self up when a mistake happens. You need to acknowledge, address, and learn from it.
This is common knowledge… “learn from your mistakes” right?
And here is the part we don’t like to admit… as owners, we make mistakes:
We drop the ball on a referral.
We miss handle a staff conversation.
We forget to respond to a patient’s complaint.
We forget to reimburse a staff member for an expense…
What separates strong leaders from weak defensive ones is not perfection it’s taking ownership of the mistake.
Research in organizational psychology consistently shows that timely apologies significantly increase perceptions of trustworthiness, reduce anger, and improve the likelihood that a relationship continues positively.
Delayed apologies on the other hand, allow negative assumptions to grow and resentment builds… that’s never good. Silence feels like indifference. And don’t be defensive… that feels like your ego diminishing the other person.
Not any apology works. A good apology that actually lands has key ingredients:
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Say the actual words: “I am sorry” not “I am sorry you feel that way”.
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Own it (a little self-castigation works too): “That’s on me, I had a brain fart, it’s unprofessional not to respond”.
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Remorse, show that you understand your impact: “I can see how that was upsetting to you”.
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Commit to change: “Moving forward, I set a reminder on my calendar”.
Now, not every apology needs a heaping dose of all these ingredients. You need to judge the severity of the mistake, and it’s impact, then allocate the right amount of energy needed in the ingredients of an apology. An apology to your wife for forgetting her birthday should look a lot different than an apology for a forgotten work email.
Many of us feel like we need to investigate fully before delivering an apology, but I think a better strategy is acknowledging the mistake, begin the emotional repair (there will be emotions involved), and apologize to an appropriate level. Letting them know that you’re looking into the details of what happened let the other party know that you’re taking this seriously and you’re taking action on it.
In small businesses, like private practice, it’s not about getting it perfect it’s about taking accountability and showing support whether that’s to an employee, a referral source, or a patient. Every well executed, apology increases the amount you have in your trust bank, and the more you have in there the better.
You need to face the fact that sometimes leader ship does not look like perfection and confidence. Sometimes it looks like humility and understanding.
Unapologetically,
Michael
